


I'm Only Human

by SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M, for like a second, that's all, touch of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-21 01:23:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11933400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock/pseuds/SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock
Summary: The four times Dean was only human and the one time that Cas was?





	I'm Only Human

“I’m only human, Cas,” Dean says the first time Castiel can’t understand his motives. The first time the angel of the lord can’t wrap his head around his questionable choices.

It’s when Dean kills something that needs interrogating and he just does what he pleases without he or Sam’s okay. Of course they’re both mad at him but it’s Castiel that’s asking what is wrong with him. Asking: why?

The next time, it’s when Dean is badly hurt. He’s coming in from a hunt, Sam gone for whatever reason, and Dean’s bleeding won’t stop. He’d been on a hunt and a werewolf took a pretty severe swipe at him. Castiel still has his wings so when he senses his charges distress... it takes no time at all. 

“Dean,” he says, both in shock and in attempt to tell the hunter that he’s there in the room with him. 

Dean looks up, then, a forced smile on his face. “Hey, Cas,” he mutters as if he’s trying to lighten the mood. But he knows why Cas is here. They both know why. 

“You were hunting. Alone,” he confronts as he moves closer. 

“It wasn’t that big a deal--” Dean starts

“You’re bleeding,” he persists. 

Dean huffs and looks at him because  _no shit._ But Castiel doesn’t know what he’s going through. Castiel doesn’t know what it feels like to have your brother walk away for a second time. Even if they’d both decided it was right. He was only trying to get by. The world didn’t stop churning out monsters because Sam Winchester decided to take a holiday. “Yeah, well, I’m only human, Cas! Not all of us can be feathery angels that fly around and don’t get hurt!”

“Then you should be more careful with your humanity,” Castiel grits out and flies out of the room, angry at his charge. 

Dean sighs a ‘thanks’ after Cas has already left... but he’s half certain that the angel hears it anyway. 

One time after that, Castiel needs desperately to speak to Dean. But the more he calls him, the more he texts... the more Dean seems to ignore. He can’t help but wonder if his charge was okay. 

So he pinpoints Dean’s exact location by remembering where Dean said he was last, where he said he was headed to, and searching the towns. It was... tiring to say the least. But he was cut off from heaven at the moment so it is to be expected. 

He stands outside the door of the motel room that Dean is staying in and at first he hears him sleeping. He listens outside to the very deep breathing of his charge, this time seeming to be the only time Dean actually relaxes... so waking him isn’t an option. 

Castiel stands there for what feels like hours until he hears movement inside the room, thinking Dean is getting up and getting dressed for the day. 

That is until he hears little groans and noises. His head tilts at the door as he tries to work out what is wrong with his friend. But then they get louder and Dean sounds like he is in pain. 

Without thinking any more about it, Castiel appears in the room, directly on the other side of the door. “Dean are you--”

“ _Jesus fucking christ, Cas!”_ Dean yelps as he tries to cover himself with the blankets. His entire face flushes and he’s trying not to think about the fact that the person that just happened to pop into his room is the one that he was trying not to imagine while having a go with his hand. 

“Dean, I apologize. I thought I heard you in pain--” the angel starts. 

“Learn the fucking difference between pain and pleasure! Get out! Gimme like ten minutes,” he orders and Castiel nods, disappearing. 

When Dean finally tells him he can come back, Castiel looks at Dean apologetically. “I am sorry, Dean. I sometimes forget the simple things like masturbation.”

Dean shudders. “Please... never say that word again,” he grunts out as he packs his bag. He looks over his shoulder. “You just gotta remember that I’m only human, Cas. I need me time. Why do you think I wasn’t staying with Sam?”

“Yes... of course, Dean.”

The next time he hears it, Dean is drunk. Castiel has been sitting there, watching Dean actually drink enough alcohol to feel it and he’s worried about the human that he’s grown to know as his. Of course... it’s not something Dean knows. 

He watches the way Dean sways when he talks, the way his lips can’t seem to make a  _proper_  full sentence. But Castiel, at this point, still thinks he’s beautiful. That he’s still the righteous man that he raised from perdition. Again... that isn’t something Dean knows. 

But then the room goes silent for a long time and Castiel nearly misses the moment Dean begins to cry. “I can’t do this, man. I can’t do all of this,” he sobs. 

Castiel frowns. “Do all of what? If you wish to stop drinking, then simply stop, Dean.”

Dean actually laughs between his sobs and shakes his head. “I’m not talking about the drinking. I’m talking about this,” he points up and then gestures all around to the motel room. “I can’t do all of this anymore. Angels, demons, heaven, hell, good, bad-- I can’t do any of it anymore. I can’t fight this fight. I don’t want to. I’m tired,” he shook his head. 

Castiel listens and only seems to frown deeper. He and Dean have been through so much together and only certain times has he ever seen Dean try to give up. But always for the right reasons. This is different. “You are the righteous man, Dean. You are a good man with a bright soul... who’s meant to do amazing things. It is written--”

“Fuck what’s written,” Dean looks at the angel through glassy eyes and water-dropped eyelashes. “Fuck what’s written, man. I’m sick of destiny. Been dealing with that shit since you walked into our lives. Thought you didn’t believe it anymore.”

“I’m not talking about destiny. I’m talking about you being a man who’s meant to do more.”

Dean shakes his head before he takes a long swig of whiskey. He stares off at nothing as he thinks Castiel’s words over before he looks up. “I’m only human, Cas,” he whispers. 

And Dean’s words are heart-wrenching. There’s so much sorrow in it that it’s akin to a wailing spirit resonating with his grace. And Castiel can’t do anything but look down. “I know, Dean. I know...”

The angels fall and Castiel falls with them. When everything is said and done and they’re packing it in, going home, and settling down in the bunker with a very human Cas... Dean and Castiel take to spending more time together than they ever did before. 

They watch TV together and cook together. They hunt together and they listen to music together and it comes to a point, really, that Dean can’t remember the last time they weren’t like this. It’s... good. 

It’s one night over a late night hot chocolate and Dean playing some music for Castiel that he tells a joke he knows isn’t funny. But when Castiel get’s this big smile on his face like he’s not laughing at the joke, but at Dean in the best way possible... when he sits close enough for them to touch and he speaks only to Dean... it all hits him. 

“You’re in love with me,” he whispers. It isn’t an accusation or a question. It’s a statement and not only is it terrifying... it’s reciprocated. 

Castiel licks his lips as he looks up into his eyes. “Of course I love you, Dean,” he answers. 

Dean swallows before he leans in and kisses him. The kiss is chaste but soft and fantastic for the first kiss for two people who’ve never done  _this_  before. 

When Dean pulls back, he can’t help but look down at him. “Why?” he asks, once again speaking before thinking.

Castiel smiles. “You’re a wonderful man, Dean. You take care of me, take care of Sam. You’ve saved so many lives, helped so many people. You have had rough patches but you’ll always be the beautiful soul I pulled out of hell. No matter what you’ve been through or what you’ve done... How could I not fall for the Dean I know?” he whispers. “After all... I’m only human, Dean,” he responds. 

Dean smiles because oh how wonderful that humanity has treated them in this moment. And if those two humans spend the night making love, kissing, and tracing fingers over skin... then who’s to say that humanity isn’t something to marvel at?


End file.
